Lincoln

Yesterday I watched Steven Spielberg’s “Lincoln”. The film mainly dramatized the events leading to the passing of the historic, perhaps even radical 13th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States- the Emancipation Proclamation. And the extraordinary leadership that Lincoln provided in that point of inflexion of American, if not human history.

The film was an experience in the grimy dealings in politics and in passionately following one’s belief in the face of insurmountable odds. But above all, it was a story about the inherent nobility of the human spirit. A human spirit that has perhaps a visceral and timeless urge towards justice and fairness, and even if a millenia of prejudice and imploding social, historical and economic conditions pulls him away from that kernel of truth buried deep within his spirit, ultimately the truth manages to express itself!

It is but rarely that history blesses us with a man or a woman of such unbelievable character and sublime spirit. 

The overwhelming impact and the all-encompassing influence they have on the course of history is so astoundingly profound, that soon we become inured to the changed reality and it seems almost natural and self-evident. And we soon forget what extra-human effort and character went into making this altered reality happen.  

 That All men are created equal and that “negroes” are men as well, of flesh, blood, and perhaps a soul too, just like the “Whites” or the “yellows” or the “browns”, who would even think of disputing it today? In fact, in all likelihood, it is now almost impossible to understand how little more than a century ago,  the otherwise sensible and intelligent men and women found this plain and simple truth of basic human equality so nigh impossible to grasp and act on?

But if it not were for men like Lincoln, perhaps this self-evident truth that we talk so glibly about today, would have remained shrouded in layers of prejudice and darkness of ignorance! And perhaps we would not even be aware of our himalayan folly!

Sometimes I wonder, is it these amazing, almost impossible personalities who leave their indelible footprint in annals of time, and fundamentally alter the course of history? Or is it Time that props up such extraordinary character in the canvass of life, to fulfill the inevitable demands of destiny? 

Whatever it is, it is to these men, it is to these events, it is to these achievements of the human spirit, which stands out in the otherwise mediocrity, even pettiness of everyday existence, that points out, even if too briefly, to the nobility,to the inner strength and beauty, to the pinnacle of purity- that the human spirit is capable of achieving. And we remain forever indebted to these impossible men and women, for giving us a glimpse of our hidden potentialities. For reassuring us that it is possible to raise ourselves above our surroundings.

The Mango People of the Banana Republic is Angry!

This outburst of rage at the India gate- is it a passing weekend revolution or a manifestation of a deeper anger and frustration with the administration? 

I personally think that more than the particular horrific incidence of rape that took place, the profound anguish, angst and resentment is over the perceived sense of callousness and inaction from the political class and breakdown of the security and administrative system for the “common man”. 

People are mad that the Police and government is only to serve the "rich" and the "powerful", and cares little of the "aam aadmi".

And the "Aam aadmi” here is the angry, agitated, aggrieved, aggressive urban and semi-urban middle class. 

With its sense of empowerment born of economic prosperity and technological tools of internet, electronic media and social networking sites, the “Aam Aadmi” have decided that the time to defer to the non-performing political establishment is perhaps up and over. It is ready to confront the system.

Will the political class finally wake up to this "awakened" urban middle class reality?

It is also very important that sooner rather than later, this awakened middle class realizes that the tens of  millions still outside the purview and privilege of being called "middle class" is also closely watching all that is happening and time is not far when they will feel empowered too. 

So far the middle class has by and large kept itself disconnected from these teeming millions of Indians in the hinterlands, still by and large untouched with the economic prosperity and technological revolution. 

Will it remain as insensitive, aloof and self-serving, caring only about its own class, with  almost no engagement with the 80% of Indians subsisting on less than Rs 20 per day, as the political class exhibits its arrogance and dis-engagement with the city bred “Aam Aadmi”?

http://www.aajeevika.in/studies/understanding-poverty/1-arjun-sengupta-paper.pdf

When there is a similar outrage at the India gate and the Rajpath by smart English speaking college students and smart techies braving water canons and tear-gas shells, not only when a 23 year old Delhite medical student is gang-raped, but also  when a poor 5 year old girl is brutally raped in some distant district of Bidar, we will know that this much required connect is happening.

But sadly, from all that it seems, we the “Aam Aadmi” are too self-obsessed with little time for those outside our social and economic class. 

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-12-20/hyderabad/35933290_1_bidar-hulsoor-water-cannons

A whisper of prayer...

Oh!  My most Beloved!

How do I keep the flame of Love burning for You-

Day and Night,

When times are dark or bright…

I know You are the Lord of my heart.

I know deep within You are me!

Not the body, not the mind,

Nor the intellect, neither the senses blind.

But the essence that is I.

Desires deep, cravings and anger,

Oh Beloved! How do I cross the river of life fraught with danger?

How do I forget everything and immerse myself in You?

How do I remain connected forever,

And have You always in my view?

12.12.12.

One year at Novartis.

Exactly a year ago I started my journey with Novartis. When I look back at my life now, I can see that I can divide it, though not always very neatly, into different phases and compartments. My employment at Novartis is certainly one of them.

Working at Novartis has been a special experience not only because it is my first corporate experience, but also because it brought me back to my country. After living for six years in the US, I was again back in India, to be submerged in its sea of humanity and be a part of the 21^st century Indian dreams and aspirations.

Working at Novartis over the last few months I got to observe closely and also learn the discipline, demands and distinctiveness of the corporate culture. I understood that at most times appearance counts as much if not more than the substance. Among others, these last twelve months impressed on me specially the value of timelines, the worth of crisp communications, and more interestingly the shrinking of geographical distance. The effortlessness with which we are integrated to our colleagues located at Basel, Switzerland and New Jersey, USA, geography seems almost to be a  deception.

There is also a congeniality in the atmosphere of the workspace. The employees, most of them young, confident and self-assured, look more or less happy and content from what it appears, though during crunch times some tension is perceptible too. The café is a colorful, and at times also a cheerful place, though I cannot claim to be completely satisfied with the taste of the food on all days. Perhaps my Bengali taste buds are still far away from making peace with the South Indian spices.

One of the best things about working at Novartis is the new friends I have made, and the old friends with whom I have had a chance to reconnect. The last few months have been personally rocky for me. Surely my friends and colleagues have helped me in cruising over the internal waves of confusion and conflict in a considerable way.

But among all the good things, one thing that worries me is the disconnect that slowly but surely creeps in with working from a sanitized high rise with wide glass walls. Standing at the edge of our seventh floor wall, sometimes when I look out at the expansive contours of the city, I wonder, am I not slowly getting sucked up into the bubble of a soft comfortable lifestyle and a superficial corporate culture, separated from the seething, swelling, swaying mass of an overwhelming majority of my countrymen? The globalized workspace and the demands of the corporate job, is it not taking me away from my Indian roots in an imperceptible way? Am I not slowly falling in the groove of the upwardly mobile Indian middle class, and in my aspiration for a successful and secured professional life, am I not bartering away the spirit of adventure and exploration that I cherished in my youthful heart? 

The picture of a fluttering tricolor on the ramparts of the Red Fort, covering an entire wide wall of the corridor on the seventh floor, helps in no way in letting the old embers die down.

How do I overcome bitterness?

Ask me how it feels to have someone grievously wrong you! How your inner-self wrenches with bile every time you think of the other person’s willful wickedness! What a disgusting bitter taste it leaves in your mouth every time you go over the unacceptable, and also sometimes heinous ways of a supposedly “loved” one! And how your mind is constantly preoccupied with the constant chatter of it all, a never-ending conversation with that invisible but ever present “adversary”, where how much ever you express your inner rage, it hardly succeeds in taking the heaviness off your heart! It is indeed a pitiable condition, when you stand helpless and weary, unwittingly letting your nemesis and the situation win over you. Is there anything that can be done about it? Or are we condemned to this hopeless misery either till things change to the satisfaction of our ego, or we drop down devastated?


This is not an intellectual proposition for me. But this is something I am having to deal with on a daily basis, for the last few months. This is not to detail the personal circumstances that put me in this situation, but an effort to express, as well as, explore the lessons I have learnt and also learning, almost every day, as I am dealing with the mess that I find myself in.


1. First of all let us admit, that we are emotional creatures. We are constantly looking for love and affection from the people around us. While in most of our dealings and interaction with others, we form opinions, pass judgment, feel good or bad, about all the impressions we pick up in our daily interactions, we hardly find time or reason to look within. To introspect. Apart from an occasional and fleeting sense of guilt or contrition, when we have really not put forward the best in us in our dealings, we remain more or less oblivious of our own attitude and shortcomings vis-à-vis  others. In seeking love, affection and approval, we forget that we have to return them in equal measure. I think this is the first lesson I have learnt from this episode. To look within. To ask myself where could I have done better. To pause and consider, have I sought to give as much as I was eager to receive? Once we understand and accept that though  most of the filth thrown at us have been undeserving, nonetheless it has provided me an opportunity to do some serious introspection. If nothing else, the stillness achieved from being introspective, endows us with a little more poise, a little more control over our impulsive and unruly emotions, especially when we are confronting such a volatile situation.


2. If the first thing we should do when we feel bitter is to be a little considerate to the other party, the second things is we should be compassionate to ourselves! Being bitter and enraged is an act of violence we commit against ourselves, little realizing that in this way we are being accomplice to the very adversary’s intention to rile us. If somebody is trying to hurt us, the best reaction we can offer is to refuse to feel hurt! Agreed it is much easier said than done, but here it is our own peace and well-being which is at stake! Why should we fall for a knee-jerk reaction of being smothered by negative emotions? What about being defiant and being in control? 


3. Now that we are in control, let us try to understand what is it that  lies behind this almost visceral feeling of bitterness? It comes from a feeling of unmet expectation – a behavior from some “loved” one that was completely “unexpected” and “unwarranted”. How could he/she behave like this to me! This is the underlying feeling of all bitterness! The more emotionally invested we are in a person, the more power we give that person to hurt us. And if unfortunately, there grows an estrangement between us and them, the first reaction is bitterness! Once we realize that it is our own expectation, it is our own investment, that has in the first place conferred on the other person the power to hurt us, we will realize that just as we have given, we are completely capable of taking away that power from them! Give up your expectations, accept that it was a foolishness to have invested emotionally in that person, make him/her unimportant to you! Once we have cut the size of that person to that she/he really deserves, we will realize much of the intensity of anger and bitterness gone! Though in all truthfulness, a lingering anguish will remain. But we can deal with it, ain’t we?


4. Once we have successfully shrunk the space that the person occupied in our minds (and in our hearts), the feeling of liberation and lightness will be all over us. Soon we will realize that the entire episode has been a blessing in disguise, giving us an opportunity to correct and reorient our priorities. If someone has wronged us, and if after our introspection we are convinced that there has been no legitimate reason for her/him to have behaved with us the way she/he had, it’s all the more better that by her/his act they have offered us a glimpse of their nature and intentions with regard to us. And now that we are aware of it, why not feel liberated and free, that we will have little reason to deal and interact with such people for all days to come? Life is expansive. There lies a lot in this wide world to explore and enjoy! Why get constrained, restricted, mired into something wholly undesirable? When this understanding really deepens, we will suddenly feel blessed that we are free again, and not caught up into an undeserving narrowness.


“Whatever happens, happens for good”. There are not many clichés as this one that irritates and infuriates me more. What a dumb way of accepting things lying down! It offers a dangerous sentiment which has the potentiality to sap away our inherent vitality. Many things happen in our lives, which are definitely not good! Why not accept it and face them boldly? But just as true it is, it is also a fact, that whatever happens we have the power and strength to choose how to react to them, and in a way make the most out of them! This is one life we have got. Why not live it in our terms without letting anybody else control it? 

Some spiritual musings

July 17,2012:


This “ego” is a difficult thing. Not only it endows all things one possesses with a delusional sense of “myness”, but it also orients all of life as a series of event for its own self-satisfaction, validation and expansion. This ego is the biggest hindrance to the blossoming of Love. But it is also true, it is this ego that can make “Love” possible. If there was no ego, which is essentially a sense of “separateness”, then how could love take place? Perhaps the raison datre of “ego” was the blossoming of Love, but the script seems to have gone horribly wrong. Is there a way to get back on the right path? What is the way to control this ego if not to get rid of it totally?


Jeanne, a friend I made recently, mentioned that she heard from a devotee that Swami explained PhD as “Pure hearted devotee”.Ah! Immidiately it struck a chord. But then I wondered what does it mean to have a pure heart? Innocence? In that case, I think it will take too much of an imagination to think I have a pure heart. But listening to a discourse made things a little simple. Swami explained, one has a pure heart, when one is free from “raga-dwesha”, ie, attachment and aversion. This sounds innocuous but has a mountain of implications. Immediately I started thinking what are my strongest attachments, and what are the things I want to run away from? Oh so many of them! Long way to go when I will finally get my PhD it seems! But worth a try…isn’t it?


On Sunday it was an amazing blessing to get the opportunity to step inside Swami’s bedroom in Shivam (Shivam is the abode of Sathya Sai Baba in Hyderabad. Its a temple in the shape of a Shiva Lingam). Oh my! The little room was throbbing with such an amazing Presence that it felt like Swami will walk in any moment. The only place where I felt something so strong was in the interview room in Prashanti Nilayam, and I was quite shaken by the experience! On Saturday evening I was in Ramkrishna Math, and as it invariably happens every time I go there, I returned with a couple of books. The one I finished reading on Saturday itself was on the inspiring story of Meera’s intoxicating, and perhaps insane love for her Beloved, Giridhari Gopal. Today, while furtively scrolling through facebook at office, a friend of mine posted a link to a 6 year old issue of a cover story of the “Heart 2 Heart” magazine which deals with, yes Shivam!( http://media.radiosai.org/journals/Vol_06/01MAY08/03-coverstory.htm ) And  how it all came about! And Swami’s interaction with Hyderabad and the devotees of Hyderabad! It was fascinating to read how in His own sweet way He prepared the ground, sowed the seeds, watered and took care of the sapling, which slowly grew into the mighty Shivam that stands tall today -the heart of Sai organization of Hyderabad! Even more fascinating was how he had charged the place with His Divine grace, which came out manifestly from numerous accounts by long standing devotees. It seems the inauguration festivities of Shivam which took place in 1973, spanned over 10 days, and in one of those 10 days, the cover story specially mentions of a drama put on by the young kids on the life and sweet devotion of Meera! And how Swami specially blessed the little kid who donned the role of the queen-mystic, asking her at the end of the show “Where is Meera?” and offering the answer Himself- “Ah! She has come to Me!”. Coincidence it might be, but to me the events of the weekend and the random chancing upon the Shivam story on facebook is a confirmation of my Lord’s boundless Love! Oh how I miss you my dear Swami!

The Theory of Karma: boon or bane?

In the last episode of Satyameva Jayate as Amir Khan explored the world of the “disabled” fellow men and women of our country, their lust and zeal for life coupled with a deep acceptance to their disadvantaged conditions stood in stark contrast to the shocking attitude of insensitivity, indifference and even contempt of the apparently “enabled” rest of us. The  outcome of this general attitude of apathy and lack of concern is manifestly evident not only in the way as a society we have completely failed to provide even a modicum of infrastructural facility to meet the special needs of our disabled brothers and sisters, but also in the way as individuals we interact with them, our reactions ranging mostly from a heartless indifference to a disrespectful condescension. And we nurture this inhuman insensitivity with little compunction, secured as we are in the belief that these hardships endured by these people are well deserved consequences of their past actions. In other words, as briefly mentioned in the show itself, The Theory of Karma, embedded deeply in our national psyche, plays no insignificant a role in contributing to our shameful insensitivity bordering on a ruthless hard-heartedness.

      There is no denying that The Theory of Karma, for whatever it is worth,  is one of those ideas that pervades our national consciousness, and shapes in a considerable measure our national attitude to life. It is one of those ideas that have been around for millennias  and have been reinforced time and again by philosophers, seers and spiritual masters of this land. The human mind is preoccupied with finding the unseen causes behind the seen effects. The vicissitudes faced by life, we find it unacceptable and unfair an idea to attribute it to an uncaring randomness. The remarkable arbitrariness in the apparent difference in the conditions of our lives,  in the skewed distribution of talents and intelligence, and also in the many events impacting our lives  profoundly and yet having little or nothing to do with our conscious actions and endeavors, is rationalized compellingly and also to an extent conveniently by The Theory of Karma.

“As you sow, so shall you reap” -this is the underlying sentiment behind The Theory of Karma that we invoke to explain the otherwise unexplainable quirks of “fate” . It is because of the apparent convincing and rational nature of this idea that for ages we accepted it almost unthinkingly. Though there have been at times certain individuals who raised a discordant note about this widely accepted theory, in general, as a Nation for much of our history we accepted it, but often with a shallow understanding and with little imagination. Have we seriously considered the implications and conclusions that flow from this Theory of Karma in their totality?

If we accept The Theory of Karma to be true how should it influence our lives?

1.     It implies that our lives in their entirety are our responsibility. Everything that has happened, that is happening, and that will happen to us is entirely of our doing. So in that case not only should we accept whatever falls in our lot without a murmur of complain, but we should also resist all temptations to point fingers at others for making our life miserable- whether it be a capricious family member, or a jealous colleague or a corrupt and callous government. True, Theory of Karma does not take away our capacity to make an effort to change the unfavorable conditions, but that should happen with a total absence of any feeling of rancor and bitterness to any other person or system. How far do we do it?

2.     Acceptance of The Theory of Karma together with the absence of rectitude in our everyday lives makes little sense. If we really accept that our present actions will shape the future conditions of our lives, how can we consciously indulge in moral lapses? With the pervasive erosion of morality and ethics in the Indian society something is seriously amiss here. Either our understanding of The Theory of Karma is disturbingly superficial, or we attach far too much importance to the temptation of the present moment to be mindful of what bearings it might have on our future. In either case, can we really consider that we take The Theory of Karma with much seriousness?

3.     For most humans, one intense desire is to be treated by his fellow men and women with consideration and fairness, if not with love and kindness. So naturally if we accept The Theory of Karma it follows that we will treat all our fellow human beings with respect, dignity and fairness that we would expect to receive from them. It is time we make an internal audit about the way we interact with people, especially the ones who are seemingly below our “social” ladder and from whom we have little to gain. Does it not belie our much touted faith in The Theory of Karma?

The Theory of Karma if followed and accepted in its totality, should impel us not only to a life full of action, but also compel us to have a cheerful disposition even at gravest of times. But let us now consider how what should have been compares with what really is:

1.      Instead of stirring us into vigorous action, the The Theory of Karma has slowly numbed us into inaction and slothfulness, so much so we have learnt to accept almost all miseries and adversities of life not only as inevitable but also as irrefutable consequences of “fate”. In a strangely distorted understanding of the Karma Theory, we have learnt to attribute the conditions of our lives to the “writings on the forehead”. We have conveniently forgotten that the same theory demands that just as what we are faced with depends on our past actions, we have perfectly within us the capacity to alter those conditions with our present actions. But if we carefully analyze the impact The Theory of Karma on our national character over centuries, we will see that more often than not it contributed to national indolence much more than to an exertion to work and action.

2.     While we have conveniently invoked The Theory of Karma to justify our otiose lifestyle, we have snugly forgotten it while indulging in grossly unethical behavior in pursuance of our selfish interests as perceived in the present moment . Our history, just as our lives have been littered with situations and instances when we almost inexplicably chose to remain oblivious to the inevitable baneful future effects that our present inappropriate actions will result in following from The Theory of Karma. However persuasive the Theory of Karma have been, at least in these times and days, it has been an utter failure to wean us away from immoral and improper behavior, when we think it can go undetected while bringing us considerable gain in the near future. 

3.     The most unconscionable effect The Theory of Karma have had on our National consciousness is the utter insensitivity, indifference and the indefensible self-righteousness with which we deal with those unfortunate individuals who have perhaps got the most raw deal from life. Be it the lowly untouchable, the unfortunate child-widow, the miserable leper or the gravely ill, as a society we have been hideous in the way we have behaved with them. And we nurture this inhuman cruelty with little compunction, secured in the belief that these terrible conditions  endured by these people are well deserved consequences of their past actions. What can be a more  perverse understanding of The Theory of Karma, that on one hand does precious little to goad us into an honorable uncomplaining life of intense activity for a better future, while on the other  provides us the perfect alibi to  invoke unknown past crimes committed by those hapless individuals to rationalize their present conditions and absolve ourselves from any sense of responsibility that our conscience might otherwise  prompt us into.

While we consider these implications of The Theory of Karma and the impacts it has on us , both as individuals, and as a society, it is time we also think about the Theory itself. I will not get into empirical evidences where at least superficially the rational understanding of the Theory of Karma makes very little sense, because to really make a judgment on the Theory based on such evidences one needs to have the complete information on the lives and experiences of the concerned subjects, which would be hardly possible.  I would rather try to understand the fundamental premises of the Theory itself and find out where it leads us to.

1.     Is it actions or intentions that The Theory of Karma cares about? If it is our actions, then it is as well we would never know what an action will result in, as once the action is done it assumes a life of its own and we have very little control of all the resulting consequences. As the example goes, I take up the action to dig a well for the thirsty passengers. What a noble action, and so far so good. But what if someone tumbles and gets drowned? So for that noble altruistic action will I have to suffer the consequences of causing someone’s untimely death? It makes little sense to our rational mind. Is it the intentions? As the proverb goes  “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” ! Is it a combination of both? As we start thinking about it deeply, we will see it is not as obvious as it seemed in the beginning.

2.     If what I face today is the result of my past actions, and I follow this chain of thought all the way back, and say for the sake of argument I accept the Theory of Rreincarnation, then we will soon find ourselves trapped in the chicken and egg problem Which came first? Which cause led to which effect?

3.     Does The Theory of Karma apply to the animals too? If it does it will be highly absurd, because almost all the actions of the animals (which perhaps, rather unfortunately, holds true for most human beings also) is prompted by instincts. They can rarely help doing what they end up doing as they are almost entirely in the thrall of their senses. In that case how does The Theory of Karma account for the evolution of the animal “soul” from lower forms of bodies, ultimately to the rarest and the “highest” of all, the human form?

These are uncomfortable questions. May be there is someone with enough wisdom out there who has a better understanding of how things work. Even if there is some sense to The Theory of Karma, the total import of it eludes most of us..Over the years we have used this limited and imperfect understanding in a rather perverse way to justify many of the inadequacies and weaknesses of our human nature. Rather than submitting to this little understood theory, it will be only more honourable of us if we have the maturity and courage to accept life as it happens. Rather than surrendering to an unknown past, it would be more becoming of us to take responsibility of the present moment. Rather than justifying people’s miseries to unverifiable past “sins”, it would me more humane of us if we develop a compassionate outlook, which will urge us to offer the same respect and dignity to others that we expect for ourselves.