THAT-THOU-ART idea cannot be made simpler!

"Where did the world come from?"
"Why did God make the world?"
"Where was I before I was born?"
"Where do people go when they die?"


"There was never a time when the world began, because it goes
round and round like a circle, and there is no place on a circle where it begins. Look at my watch, which tells the time; it goes round, and so the world repeats itself again and again. But just as the hour-hand of the watch goes up to twelve and down to six, so, too, there is day and night, waking and sleeping, living and dying, summer and winter. You can't have any one of these without the other, because you wouldn't be able to know what black is unless you had seen it side-by-side with white, or white unless side-by-side with black.

"In the same way, there are times when the world is, and times when it isn't, for if the world went on and on without rest for ever and ever, it would get horribly tired of itself. It comes and it goes. Now you see it; now you don't. So because it doesn't get tired of itself, it always comes back again after it disappears. It's like your breath: it goes in and out, in and out, and if you try to hold it in all the time you feel terrible. It's also like the game of hide-and-seek, because it's always fun to find new ways of hiding, and to seek for someone who doesn't always hide in the same place.

"God also likes to play hide-and-seek, but because there is nothing
outside God, he has no one but himself to play with. But he gets over this difficulty by pretending that he is not himself. This is his way of hiding from himself. He pretends that he is you and I and all the people in the world, all the animals, all the plants, all the rocks, and all the stars. In this way he has strange and wonderful adventures, some of which are terrible and frightening. But these are just like bad dreams, for when he wakes up they will disappear.

"Now when God plays hide and pretends that he is you and I, he does it so well that it takes him a long time to remember where and how he hid himself. But that's the whole fun of it—just what he wanted to do.

He doesn't want to find himself too quickly, for that would spoil the
game. That is why it is so difficult for you and me to find out that we are God in disguise, pretending not to be himself. But when the game has gone on long enough, all of us will wake up, stop pretending, and remember that we are all one single Self—the God who is all that there is and who lives for ever and ever.

"Of course, you must remember that God isn't shaped like a person.
People have skins and there is always something outside our skins. If there weren't, we wouldn't know the difference between what is inside and outside our bodies. But God has no skin and no shape because there isn't any outside to him.

The inside and the outside of God are the same. And though I have been talking about God as 'he' and not 'she,' God isn't a man or a woman. I didn't say 'it' because we usually say 'it' for things that aren't alive.

"God is the Self of the world, but you can't see God for the same
reason that, without a mirror, you can't see your own eyes, and you
certainly can't bite your own teeth or look inside your head. Yourself is that cleverly hidden because it is God hiding.

"You may ask why God sometimes hides in the form of horrible
people, or pretends to be people who suffer great disease and pain.
Remember, first, that he isn't really doing this to anyone but himself.

Remember, too, that in almost all the stories you enjoy there have to be bad people as well as good people, for the thrill of the tale is to find out how the good people will get the better of the bad. It's the same as when we play cards. At the beginning of the game we shuffle them all into a mess, which is like the bad things in the world, but the point of the game is to put the mess into good order, and the one who does it best is the winner. Then we shuffle the cards once more and play again, and so it goes with the world."

-Alan Watts (On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are)

Lincoln

Yesterday I watched Steven Spielberg’s “Lincoln”. The film mainly dramatized the events leading to the passing of the historic, perhaps even radical 13th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States- the Emancipation Proclamation. And the extraordinary leadership that Lincoln provided in that point of inflexion of American, if not human history.

The film was an experience in the grimy dealings in politics and in passionately following one’s belief in the face of insurmountable odds. But above all, it was a story about the inherent nobility of the human spirit. A human spirit that has perhaps a visceral and timeless urge towards justice and fairness, and even if a millenia of prejudice and imploding social, historical and economic conditions pulls him away from that kernel of truth buried deep within his spirit, ultimately the truth manages to express itself!

It is but rarely that history blesses us with a man or a woman of such unbelievable character and sublime spirit. 

The overwhelming impact and the all-encompassing influence they have on the course of history is so astoundingly profound, that soon we become inured to the changed reality and it seems almost natural and self-evident. And we soon forget what extra-human effort and character went into making this altered reality happen.  

 That All men are created equal and that “negroes” are men as well, of flesh, blood, and perhaps a soul too, just like the “Whites” or the “yellows” or the “browns”, who would even think of disputing it today? In fact, in all likelihood, it is now almost impossible to understand how little more than a century ago,  the otherwise sensible and intelligent men and women found this plain and simple truth of basic human equality so nigh impossible to grasp and act on?

But if it not were for men like Lincoln, perhaps this self-evident truth that we talk so glibly about today, would have remained shrouded in layers of prejudice and darkness of ignorance! And perhaps we would not even be aware of our himalayan folly!

Sometimes I wonder, is it these amazing, almost impossible personalities who leave their indelible footprint in annals of time, and fundamentally alter the course of history? Or is it Time that props up such extraordinary character in the canvass of life, to fulfill the inevitable demands of destiny? 

Whatever it is, it is to these men, it is to these events, it is to these achievements of the human spirit, which stands out in the otherwise mediocrity, even pettiness of everyday existence, that points out, even if too briefly, to the nobility,to the inner strength and beauty, to the pinnacle of purity- that the human spirit is capable of achieving. And we remain forever indebted to these impossible men and women, for giving us a glimpse of our hidden potentialities. For reassuring us that it is possible to raise ourselves above our surroundings.

The Mango People of the Banana Republic is Angry!

This outburst of rage at the India gate- is it a passing weekend revolution or a manifestation of a deeper anger and frustration with the administration? 

I personally think that more than the particular horrific incidence of rape that took place, the profound anguish, angst and resentment is over the perceived sense of callousness and inaction from the political class and breakdown of the security and administrative system for the “common man”. 

People are mad that the Police and government is only to serve the "rich" and the "powerful", and cares little of the "aam aadmi".

And the "Aam aadmi” here is the angry, agitated, aggrieved, aggressive urban and semi-urban middle class. 

With its sense of empowerment born of economic prosperity and technological tools of internet, electronic media and social networking sites, the “Aam Aadmi” have decided that the time to defer to the non-performing political establishment is perhaps up and over. It is ready to confront the system.

Will the political class finally wake up to this "awakened" urban middle class reality?

It is also very important that sooner rather than later, this awakened middle class realizes that the tens of  millions still outside the purview and privilege of being called "middle class" is also closely watching all that is happening and time is not far when they will feel empowered too. 

So far the middle class has by and large kept itself disconnected from these teeming millions of Indians in the hinterlands, still by and large untouched with the economic prosperity and technological revolution. 

Will it remain as insensitive, aloof and self-serving, caring only about its own class, with  almost no engagement with the 80% of Indians subsisting on less than Rs 20 per day, as the political class exhibits its arrogance and dis-engagement with the city bred “Aam Aadmi”?

http://www.aajeevika.in/studies/understanding-poverty/1-arjun-sengupta-paper.pdf

When there is a similar outrage at the India gate and the Rajpath by smart English speaking college students and smart techies braving water canons and tear-gas shells, not only when a 23 year old Delhite medical student is gang-raped, but also  when a poor 5 year old girl is brutally raped in some distant district of Bidar, we will know that this much required connect is happening.

But sadly, from all that it seems, we the “Aam Aadmi” are too self-obsessed with little time for those outside our social and economic class. 

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-12-20/hyderabad/35933290_1_bidar-hulsoor-water-cannons

A whisper of prayer...

Oh!  My most Beloved!

How do I keep the flame of Love burning for You-

Day and Night,

When times are dark or bright…

I know You are the Lord of my heart.

I know deep within You are me!

Not the body, not the mind,

Nor the intellect, neither the senses blind.

But the essence that is I.

Desires deep, cravings and anger,

Oh Beloved! How do I cross the river of life fraught with danger?

How do I forget everything and immerse myself in You?

How do I remain connected forever,

And have You always in my view?

12.12.12.

One year at Novartis.

Exactly a year ago I started my journey with Novartis. When I look back at my life now, I can see that I can divide it, though not always very neatly, into different phases and compartments. My employment at Novartis is certainly one of them.

Working at Novartis has been a special experience not only because it is my first corporate experience, but also because it brought me back to my country. After living for six years in the US, I was again back in India, to be submerged in its sea of humanity and be a part of the 21^st century Indian dreams and aspirations.

Working at Novartis over the last few months I got to observe closely and also learn the discipline, demands and distinctiveness of the corporate culture. I understood that at most times appearance counts as much if not more than the substance. Among others, these last twelve months impressed on me specially the value of timelines, the worth of crisp communications, and more interestingly the shrinking of geographical distance. The effortlessness with which we are integrated to our colleagues located at Basel, Switzerland and New Jersey, USA, geography seems almost to be a  deception.

There is also a congeniality in the atmosphere of the workspace. The employees, most of them young, confident and self-assured, look more or less happy and content from what it appears, though during crunch times some tension is perceptible too. The café is a colorful, and at times also a cheerful place, though I cannot claim to be completely satisfied with the taste of the food on all days. Perhaps my Bengali taste buds are still far away from making peace with the South Indian spices.

One of the best things about working at Novartis is the new friends I have made, and the old friends with whom I have had a chance to reconnect. The last few months have been personally rocky for me. Surely my friends and colleagues have helped me in cruising over the internal waves of confusion and conflict in a considerable way.

But among all the good things, one thing that worries me is the disconnect that slowly but surely creeps in with working from a sanitized high rise with wide glass walls. Standing at the edge of our seventh floor wall, sometimes when I look out at the expansive contours of the city, I wonder, am I not slowly getting sucked up into the bubble of a soft comfortable lifestyle and a superficial corporate culture, separated from the seething, swelling, swaying mass of an overwhelming majority of my countrymen? The globalized workspace and the demands of the corporate job, is it not taking me away from my Indian roots in an imperceptible way? Am I not slowly falling in the groove of the upwardly mobile Indian middle class, and in my aspiration for a successful and secured professional life, am I not bartering away the spirit of adventure and exploration that I cherished in my youthful heart? 

The picture of a fluttering tricolor on the ramparts of the Red Fort, covering an entire wide wall of the corridor on the seventh floor, helps in no way in letting the old embers die down.

How do I overcome bitterness?

Ask me how it feels to have someone grievously wrong you! How your inner-self wrenches with bile every time you think of the other person’s willful wickedness! What a disgusting bitter taste it leaves in your mouth every time you go over the unacceptable, and also sometimes heinous ways of a supposedly “loved” one! And how your mind is constantly preoccupied with the constant chatter of it all, a never-ending conversation with that invisible but ever present “adversary”, where how much ever you express your inner rage, it hardly succeeds in taking the heaviness off your heart! It is indeed a pitiable condition, when you stand helpless and weary, unwittingly letting your nemesis and the situation win over you. Is there anything that can be done about it? Or are we condemned to this hopeless misery either till things change to the satisfaction of our ego, or we drop down devastated?


This is not an intellectual proposition for me. But this is something I am having to deal with on a daily basis, for the last few months. This is not to detail the personal circumstances that put me in this situation, but an effort to express, as well as, explore the lessons I have learnt and also learning, almost every day, as I am dealing with the mess that I find myself in.


1. First of all let us admit, that we are emotional creatures. We are constantly looking for love and affection from the people around us. While in most of our dealings and interaction with others, we form opinions, pass judgment, feel good or bad, about all the impressions we pick up in our daily interactions, we hardly find time or reason to look within. To introspect. Apart from an occasional and fleeting sense of guilt or contrition, when we have really not put forward the best in us in our dealings, we remain more or less oblivious of our own attitude and shortcomings vis-à-vis  others. In seeking love, affection and approval, we forget that we have to return them in equal measure. I think this is the first lesson I have learnt from this episode. To look within. To ask myself where could I have done better. To pause and consider, have I sought to give as much as I was eager to receive? Once we understand and accept that though  most of the filth thrown at us have been undeserving, nonetheless it has provided me an opportunity to do some serious introspection. If nothing else, the stillness achieved from being introspective, endows us with a little more poise, a little more control over our impulsive and unruly emotions, especially when we are confronting such a volatile situation.


2. If the first thing we should do when we feel bitter is to be a little considerate to the other party, the second things is we should be compassionate to ourselves! Being bitter and enraged is an act of violence we commit against ourselves, little realizing that in this way we are being accomplice to the very adversary’s intention to rile us. If somebody is trying to hurt us, the best reaction we can offer is to refuse to feel hurt! Agreed it is much easier said than done, but here it is our own peace and well-being which is at stake! Why should we fall for a knee-jerk reaction of being smothered by negative emotions? What about being defiant and being in control? 


3. Now that we are in control, let us try to understand what is it that  lies behind this almost visceral feeling of bitterness? It comes from a feeling of unmet expectation – a behavior from some “loved” one that was completely “unexpected” and “unwarranted”. How could he/she behave like this to me! This is the underlying feeling of all bitterness! The more emotionally invested we are in a person, the more power we give that person to hurt us. And if unfortunately, there grows an estrangement between us and them, the first reaction is bitterness! Once we realize that it is our own expectation, it is our own investment, that has in the first place conferred on the other person the power to hurt us, we will realize that just as we have given, we are completely capable of taking away that power from them! Give up your expectations, accept that it was a foolishness to have invested emotionally in that person, make him/her unimportant to you! Once we have cut the size of that person to that she/he really deserves, we will realize much of the intensity of anger and bitterness gone! Though in all truthfulness, a lingering anguish will remain. But we can deal with it, ain’t we?


4. Once we have successfully shrunk the space that the person occupied in our minds (and in our hearts), the feeling of liberation and lightness will be all over us. Soon we will realize that the entire episode has been a blessing in disguise, giving us an opportunity to correct and reorient our priorities. If someone has wronged us, and if after our introspection we are convinced that there has been no legitimate reason for her/him to have behaved with us the way she/he had, it’s all the more better that by her/his act they have offered us a glimpse of their nature and intentions with regard to us. And now that we are aware of it, why not feel liberated and free, that we will have little reason to deal and interact with such people for all days to come? Life is expansive. There lies a lot in this wide world to explore and enjoy! Why get constrained, restricted, mired into something wholly undesirable? When this understanding really deepens, we will suddenly feel blessed that we are free again, and not caught up into an undeserving narrowness.


“Whatever happens, happens for good”. There are not many clichés as this one that irritates and infuriates me more. What a dumb way of accepting things lying down! It offers a dangerous sentiment which has the potentiality to sap away our inherent vitality. Many things happen in our lives, which are definitely not good! Why not accept it and face them boldly? But just as true it is, it is also a fact, that whatever happens we have the power and strength to choose how to react to them, and in a way make the most out of them! This is one life we have got. Why not live it in our terms without letting anybody else control it? 

Some spiritual musings

July 17,2012:


This “ego” is a difficult thing. Not only it endows all things one possesses with a delusional sense of “myness”, but it also orients all of life as a series of event for its own self-satisfaction, validation and expansion. This ego is the biggest hindrance to the blossoming of Love. But it is also true, it is this ego that can make “Love” possible. If there was no ego, which is essentially a sense of “separateness”, then how could love take place? Perhaps the raison datre of “ego” was the blossoming of Love, but the script seems to have gone horribly wrong. Is there a way to get back on the right path? What is the way to control this ego if not to get rid of it totally?


Jeanne, a friend I made recently, mentioned that she heard from a devotee that Swami explained PhD as “Pure hearted devotee”.Ah! Immidiately it struck a chord. But then I wondered what does it mean to have a pure heart? Innocence? In that case, I think it will take too much of an imagination to think I have a pure heart. But listening to a discourse made things a little simple. Swami explained, one has a pure heart, when one is free from “raga-dwesha”, ie, attachment and aversion. This sounds innocuous but has a mountain of implications. Immediately I started thinking what are my strongest attachments, and what are the things I want to run away from? Oh so many of them! Long way to go when I will finally get my PhD it seems! But worth a try…isn’t it?


On Sunday it was an amazing blessing to get the opportunity to step inside Swami’s bedroom in Shivam (Shivam is the abode of Sathya Sai Baba in Hyderabad. Its a temple in the shape of a Shiva Lingam). Oh my! The little room was throbbing with such an amazing Presence that it felt like Swami will walk in any moment. The only place where I felt something so strong was in the interview room in Prashanti Nilayam, and I was quite shaken by the experience! On Saturday evening I was in Ramkrishna Math, and as it invariably happens every time I go there, I returned with a couple of books. The one I finished reading on Saturday itself was on the inspiring story of Meera’s intoxicating, and perhaps insane love for her Beloved, Giridhari Gopal. Today, while furtively scrolling through facebook at office, a friend of mine posted a link to a 6 year old issue of a cover story of the “Heart 2 Heart” magazine which deals with, yes Shivam!( http://media.radiosai.org/journals/Vol_06/01MAY08/03-coverstory.htm ) And  how it all came about! And Swami’s interaction with Hyderabad and the devotees of Hyderabad! It was fascinating to read how in His own sweet way He prepared the ground, sowed the seeds, watered and took care of the sapling, which slowly grew into the mighty Shivam that stands tall today -the heart of Sai organization of Hyderabad! Even more fascinating was how he had charged the place with His Divine grace, which came out manifestly from numerous accounts by long standing devotees. It seems the inauguration festivities of Shivam which took place in 1973, spanned over 10 days, and in one of those 10 days, the cover story specially mentions of a drama put on by the young kids on the life and sweet devotion of Meera! And how Swami specially blessed the little kid who donned the role of the queen-mystic, asking her at the end of the show “Where is Meera?” and offering the answer Himself- “Ah! She has come to Me!”. Coincidence it might be, but to me the events of the weekend and the random chancing upon the Shivam story on facebook is a confirmation of my Lord’s boundless Love! Oh how I miss you my dear Swami!