Some spiritual musings

July 17,2012:


This “ego” is a difficult thing. Not only it endows all things one possesses with a delusional sense of “myness”, but it also orients all of life as a series of event for its own self-satisfaction, validation and expansion. This ego is the biggest hindrance to the blossoming of Love. But it is also true, it is this ego that can make “Love” possible. If there was no ego, which is essentially a sense of “separateness”, then how could love take place? Perhaps the raison datre of “ego” was the blossoming of Love, but the script seems to have gone horribly wrong. Is there a way to get back on the right path? What is the way to control this ego if not to get rid of it totally?


Jeanne, a friend I made recently, mentioned that she heard from a devotee that Swami explained PhD as “Pure hearted devotee”.Ah! Immidiately it struck a chord. But then I wondered what does it mean to have a pure heart? Innocence? In that case, I think it will take too much of an imagination to think I have a pure heart. But listening to a discourse made things a little simple. Swami explained, one has a pure heart, when one is free from “raga-dwesha”, ie, attachment and aversion. This sounds innocuous but has a mountain of implications. Immediately I started thinking what are my strongest attachments, and what are the things I want to run away from? Oh so many of them! Long way to go when I will finally get my PhD it seems! But worth a try…isn’t it?


On Sunday it was an amazing blessing to get the opportunity to step inside Swami’s bedroom in Shivam (Shivam is the abode of Sathya Sai Baba in Hyderabad. Its a temple in the shape of a Shiva Lingam). Oh my! The little room was throbbing with such an amazing Presence that it felt like Swami will walk in any moment. The only place where I felt something so strong was in the interview room in Prashanti Nilayam, and I was quite shaken by the experience! On Saturday evening I was in Ramkrishna Math, and as it invariably happens every time I go there, I returned with a couple of books. The one I finished reading on Saturday itself was on the inspiring story of Meera’s intoxicating, and perhaps insane love for her Beloved, Giridhari Gopal. Today, while furtively scrolling through facebook at office, a friend of mine posted a link to a 6 year old issue of a cover story of the “Heart 2 Heart” magazine which deals with, yes Shivam!( http://media.radiosai.org/journals/Vol_06/01MAY08/03-coverstory.htm ) And  how it all came about! And Swami’s interaction with Hyderabad and the devotees of Hyderabad! It was fascinating to read how in His own sweet way He prepared the ground, sowed the seeds, watered and took care of the sapling, which slowly grew into the mighty Shivam that stands tall today -the heart of Sai organization of Hyderabad! Even more fascinating was how he had charged the place with His Divine grace, which came out manifestly from numerous accounts by long standing devotees. It seems the inauguration festivities of Shivam which took place in 1973, spanned over 10 days, and in one of those 10 days, the cover story specially mentions of a drama put on by the young kids on the life and sweet devotion of Meera! And how Swami specially blessed the little kid who donned the role of the queen-mystic, asking her at the end of the show “Where is Meera?” and offering the answer Himself- “Ah! She has come to Me!”. Coincidence it might be, but to me the events of the weekend and the random chancing upon the Shivam story on facebook is a confirmation of my Lord’s boundless Love! Oh how I miss you my dear Swami!